In the next few minutes, I'm going to show you why nothing you've tried has worked, and what it takes to get to less conflict, fewer shutdowns, and real repair. Even if he doesn't change a thing.
WHO IT'S FOR
A wife struggling in marriage to a husband with past trauma. She is starting to figure out his moods aren't her fault, and now wants to know what to do with that.
Dysregulation is when his emotions are out of control. He's overwhelmed, and you're caught in the storm. He's not trying to hurt you. Afterward, he feels bad about how he reacted. He wants to be a good father and a good husband. It's not okay, but it's not intentional.
Abuse is different. It's about control and power. Sometimes it feels like he enjoys seeing you upset. He might say sorry, but somehow it always ends up being your fault, and the control never changes.
I'm not making excuses for dysregulation. But knowing the difference changes how you respond. If what's happening in your house is about control, this isn't the work for you right now. Please reach out to the
the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233,
thehotline.org.
On the call, we'll talk about what's happening in your house, where it goes off, and what it's costing you. It takes about 45 minutes. You'll leave with a clearer picture of what's going on, whether you work with me or not.
If I think I can help, I'll tell you exactly how. If I don't, I'll tell you that too. It's not therapy, and I'm not going to pressure you.
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We were all walking on eggshells. We didn't know what was going to set him off.
HEATHER · CLIENT
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I felt like I had to be a master sleuth to figure out every single reason why he was responding.
JILL · CLIENT
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I found myself again. And I didn't ask for permission.
rebecca · CLIENT
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Being able to walk away and say let's talk about it later without resentment was huge.
From a client questionnaire
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This was the first time I've heard someone describe my relationship in a way that actually made sense. I finally feel seen.
brittany · CLIENT
FAQ
I hear you. But everything you've tried so far was working on him, or on the two of you. Nobody has worked on what happens in your body when he walks in.
He doesn't have to. One of my clients said it best: "He didn't have to do anything. It was all me. I just needed to adjust myself, and I learned how to do that."
If counseling and the books were going to fix this, they would have by now. This is different, because it works on what's happening in your own body, not on his.